Day 51 Jedi

Jedis here I am, better late than never! Feel like I'm back to the days of being a new mom or something! Oy! As in being up all night. But reality is my little one was restless. 

So today was Day 51 of my program, and as you know, I'm not wet behind the ears when it comes to home workouts. I've completed a handful and can handle a lot. But lately they have been drudgery. 

This morning I felt stronger. Why? You might ask. Nutrition. Plain and simple. I was back on my game since Monday despite the rest of the household being out of sync, it's true. Whenever my food is sugar-laiden or categories missing, I'm dying in my workouts. 

So as I did Total Body Chisel today, I felt the most challenging were the step down, cross-back moves which as a tall person are funny! With my stepping up on my "bench" (which by the way is literally a piano bench in my home), I almost touch the ceiling. 😂 These moves, I wish I could do in one clean stroke, but I'm struggling at the top, pushing up to the top of the bench. Once I touch back to the floor, I'm ok. I have to stop and pause the DVD player or streaming in my laptop, so I can do the 10 at my own pace, wobbling with a little extra "shove" at the top, to hoist my hip up and get my tush down. I look funny as hell. 

The lunges and flys were no problem. I was actually quite proud of myself to upping my ability to 20 lbs on most moves except for upper body (presses I switched between 15 and 20, not too shabby). I am out of the Performance Line Recharge and my body is really needing that healing overnight. Hoping it arrives shortly, so I'm not so stiff and sore in the morning. 

This whole week has been really rough with my middle daughter being sick. She didn't go to school for 4 days, and I found myself not being able to do my usual 5:00am. My personal development and my professional power hours for coaching work were started much later, which just becomes harder for me. Let me go on record saying "Yuck! Evening workouts stink!" Just no way I'll ever switch. I love being an early riser. Funny how we can change. Looking back I don't know how I did it. 

CIZE of your confidence

So here I am preparing for my new group fitness class in dance: CIZE

It starts next Monday. I know my heart is in it, I feel great when I'm in the middle of doing it, and my mission to help others slim down and gain confidence is always foremost in my mind. With that, I feel less nervous. Anytime you lead with goodness and honesty, you can't go wrong. There's a place for you. There is success and care coming your way because your intentions are based in love and concern. 

Like anyone, I've got those first-time jitters. Wondering will the equipment fail (like my Mac blows up, I forget some rhythm) I guess any of those things could happen, but I'll try to stack the deck against that of course! 

It's funny to remember Shaun T is July, muscular and such a 'large' presence in that auditorium teaching us...class #1...

What a terrific momento to put in your scrap book. Shaun T, so humble and sincere. You want to just reach out and hug the guy - his heart is so big. I remember the music, the original choreography from that day, our breakout groups, people in my class, my assistants...

I'm laughing still because seriously if someone had said to me: "Julie, a year from now you will not be sitting in your corporate office, you will be launching a class, and you will be leading others in a healthy lifestyle .." I don't know. Would I have thought they were on crack? Perhaps! Yea. 

It's been a year of growth in confidence for me. I've overcome so much too. Not that everyday isn't a struggle; my weakness is always my family and my intimate relationships. Somehow I can lead in so many other areas yet get all snared in the love twist. I guess that's the part I am still trying to unearth and refine. 

Always a work in progress. 

Don't stop dreaming !

Today I did a very fun activity using my phone as well as my hands - the tangible - the love that goes into making something is really important and key to making what you want happen. I created a dream board this evening with all the things I want to accomplish this year of 2016.  

Some of these images represent business goals as a entrepreneur & wellness coach and some pertain to just sheer joyful activities I will get from having accomplished those goals. I shared this with my inner circle of coaches - a group of bad-asses like I am, who set goals and do them! We make sure we know 'why' we are choosing them, how we feel doing them, and how we will execute. 

 

I actually had made a vision board last year when I had only been a coach for one month. I had little idea what I was getting into, but my own mentor said,  'make it'. Wouldn't you know it? All of the things put down came true. 

So here I am again and oh man! Do I have some big dreams this year! And I won't settle for the mediocre. 

I did that for too many years- being cautious , always going the middle road, not standing out too much. 

At 41, there are things I want to enjoy and I'm going to make sure my daily activities point with a huge arrow towards those. 

When was the last time you listened to your heart about what you want to enjoy? Do you even know or bother ? I bet you have stopped. Why? 

There is something so innate and healthy about dreaming. Children do it of course and often young adults. But somewhere along the line, we kill it. You know what disappears with dreaming ? Our creative juices. They are stirred when we dream . 

I ask you to take some time today to continue dreaming. Make a dream board with me . 

I would love to see it too. 

~Jedi 

Jedi Chronicles Day 7-9

What does it mean to be courageous? 

There's nothing wrong with being a cautious individual.  There is a classic saying: "men plan and G-d laughs." My parents taught me that planning carefully is wise and in fact helps you be prepared for bumps in the road. The road blocks will always come. It's simply a matter of seeing that being blocked is only a temporary rest to let you reflect to build a better strategy out! 

I don't want people reading this to get the idea that caution, or lack thereof, has to be equated to being courageous. These are two separate qualities. I'm someone who drives cautiously. It takes me a long time typically to 'shift' gears in my life path. But when I do shift, I do it hard. You might ask 'what makes you do that?' Looking back I've taken action in this manner very similarly. When I smoked in my early 20s, I eventually  learned that it was illogical for someone with asthma to smoke. How can you take a inhaler shot before you take a drag? Well, that right there seemed illogical to me. I decided to leave smoking to my friends who didn't have asthma. They could smoke enough for the two of us. But I didn't sign up for a pill or a patch, I said 'I need to do it myself so I can say 'I' did it." I didn't want to be beholden to someone or something.  

When I struggled with bulimia in my 20s too, I remember vividly standing in the shower vomiting and something came over me. I said again 'this makes no sense' . 'Why am I standing here?' That was the last day I did it. I fought with tenacity. But it came from asking questions. Somehow it stems from accepting what is imminently wrong with the situation and staring at it just to see if it makes sense. Then the second aspect is knowing if 'I' can do it, I won't have to let someone else take control. Some professional out there I suppose could say that wanting that level of control could be negative too, but I'll argue that it's the lesser of the two evils. If I had not taken that moment to let the feeling wash over me completely and seen either the logic or illogicality of it, my inertia or comfort level would simply have kept me in the same state. 

So back to courage. 

Courage is a choice obviously. I don't believe it has to be inherent. I have seen friends build it, grow into it. It does not mean you are without fear. It's in fact the opposite. Courage is when you ARE afraid, but you push through regardless. . It means to show strength even during great pain or grief. You don't have to shed the fear. You can wear it without shame. We are all afraid. 

We are afraid of being judged. 

We are afraid of failing.

We are afraid of being rejected. 

We are afraid of having pain.

We are afraid of losing comfort. 

We are afraid of making a mistake. 

We are afraid of disappointing others. 

But if you examine more closely all of these above, they still come down to the same source: fear of pain (physical or psychological) 

In my own situation I was faced with pain. I'm still in pain now. I am afraid now. But I opted to take my fear with me on the journey. 

I buried my mother. I was faced with not having enough money to support keeping the roof over my family and basics in their lifestyle. I was faced with impending health issues and a feeling of despair and ugliness in my 'being'. I don't mean physical ugliness, but actual violence potential - violence of the body and mind. My own destructive natural force. Whether you shovel food down, or cigarettes, or money, or whatever your destruction of choice is, you still are running from the fear of pain. 

So when I say courage is not inherent, I mean that wholeheartedly. 

These days I am choosing a natural healthy pain to 'embrace' and focus on, something that fills me with purpose and clarity. 

When I shout out to others to come join me, I am asking you to evaluate the logic or illogicality of your current state. I'm asking you to take your pain and keep it, but move forward. I'm not interested in perfect beings. I want someone who can fail and show me how, so I perhaps won't go that same route. I want all the vulnerability. I want to embrace all your wrongdoings and for you to do the same for me. I'm asking for you to show me that fear, so I can show you mine. 

That is how courage works in this business of living.