CIZE of your confidence

So here I am preparing for my new group fitness class in dance: CIZE

It starts next Monday. I know my heart is in it, I feel great when I'm in the middle of doing it, and my mission to help others slim down and gain confidence is always foremost in my mind. With that, I feel less nervous. Anytime you lead with goodness and honesty, you can't go wrong. There's a place for you. There is success and care coming your way because your intentions are based in love and concern. 

Like anyone, I've got those first-time jitters. Wondering will the equipment fail (like my Mac blows up, I forget some rhythm) I guess any of those things could happen, but I'll try to stack the deck against that of course! 

It's funny to remember Shaun T is July, muscular and such a 'large' presence in that auditorium teaching us...class #1...

What a terrific momento to put in your scrap book. Shaun T, so humble and sincere. You want to just reach out and hug the guy - his heart is so big. I remember the music, the original choreography from that day, our breakout groups, people in my class, my assistants...

I'm laughing still because seriously if someone had said to me: "Julie, a year from now you will not be sitting in your corporate office, you will be launching a class, and you will be leading others in a healthy lifestyle .." I don't know. Would I have thought they were on crack? Perhaps! Yea. 

It's been a year of growth in confidence for me. I've overcome so much too. Not that everyday isn't a struggle; my weakness is always my family and my intimate relationships. Somehow I can lead in so many other areas yet get all snared in the love twist. I guess that's the part I am still trying to unearth and refine. 

Always a work in progress. 

Welcome to a New Year

I had stopped writing in my blog when I was over in Moscow this summer. I think just being abroad and all the pressures of  dealing with time zone change and a foreign system had me overwhelmed. I'm back though.  

Hopefully someone out there is happy to see the Jedi blogging again. I tell ya what... I'm gonna hold myself to it. 

So many people 'begin' the new year disgusted at what they didn't accomplish. If I could say one thing to you, I would share this:

Don't be like everyone else. Don't start another year today promising yourself something is going to be different. It will only be different IF you make it so. You. 

I stuck out one (1) solid year of 2015 on exercising and eating right. At times I'm asking myself 'How did I pull this off?' Because it was not a cake walk - no pun on those sugars, haha. 

It means so much more that I can look at the difference I see in me over one year. I hope that for you too. To be able to revel in this moment when you can say you stuck to something because YOU wanted it for yourself - not that someone forced it on you. 

I think the best laid plans come from when you want it just for no other reason than you decided to dream and came up with that very dream: to feel better about yourself. (Or whatever it may be)

Can you listen to yourself ? No frills, no fancy, no fuss and just shut up for once? What is your SELF trying to say to you? 

We are constantly ignoring 'us'. 

We say 'shut up'. 

We say 'you shouldn't be thinking that ... feeling that.'

Just shut up for once. Will ya? Listen, already! 

Tall Girls Carry It Well

Tall Girl Fitness

You've heard it all:

'You're so tall and beautiful' (by the way, notice how the 'tall' adjective always comes first)

'Did you play basketball in school?' (Nope, can't dribble to save my life)

'You carry yourself so well' (As opposed to what? Did you expect me to be bent over from the weight?) 

'You must be able to reach things easily?' (Yea, like that 2 year old matzoh hidden in the upper reaches of our kitchen cabinets)

'Is your husband tall too'? (No, I decided to marry a little person)

'That's not fair, you have more plank leverage ' (in regards to working out- yea, but you can crunch better with your tiny torso!)

'Are you a model?' (No, but I play one on TV?')

'How do you find shoes?' (You don't; can you say #catalogshopwhore

Here are some of the issues I've encountered with being a fit tall one:

I love how when I show my before and after picture to people they are impressed and happy for me of course, but then there's always that one person who asks 'Why did you lose weight? You were thin before.' 

I feel like responding 'yes when you're the size of an Amazon, you tend to take up more space vertically, so your eye focuses on that - it's like one of those Las Vegas illusionist shows. ' 

If you stick a tall 40 year old 15-20 lb overweight women next to a tiny 40 year old 5' 0" 20 lb overweight woman, the pixie will be able to get away with far less! Sorry ladies. 

Maybe that's what they meant by saying 'you carry yourself well' but it should be you carry your BODY FAT well. Can you imagine someone saying that? 

Also at my height who's able to see my shaking, undeveloped biceps anyway. You can't even see my little breasts which are desperately saying 'no, no weight loss please!!' You're only at the level of staring straight ahead into my soft ab-less torso. 

All I had to do was throw on some tight size 12 jeans and hide the unbuttoned button/zipper with a lose fitted shirt, and throw on some heels and dang, all they saw was LEG. Take a pixie with cottage cheese legs and stretch her out like on stilts and see what you get ! Illusionist! 

So yes, tall overweight girls have it in the bag. Oh, we work those tricks because we have the advantage of always looking down on you. 

But that doesn't change how we feel about ourselves confidence wise. 

Tall girls can't 'borrow' friends clothes when they gain OR lose weight. And then friends wonder why I saved all these outfits that didn't fit in hopes of getting back my 'high school body' back. One pant leg would be like a Capri - come on! 

My high school body . Ah! The 'only' aspect I loved about being tall and slender in school. Why?

Tall girls get picked last in gym class teams. 

Tall girls don't get asked to the prom

Tall girls have to always stand in the back

Tall girls don't try out for cheerleading (who can lift them?)

Tall girls can order at the bar though I guess, but that might explain the cottage cheese 20 years later! Darn. 

So in short when someone asks me why I lost weight I say 'because I grew tired of staring down at you.'

~Jedi

(P.S. That is my grandfather in the photo. Now you know where I get the 'verticality' from)