Tall Girls Carry It Well

Tall Girl Fitness

You've heard it all:

'You're so tall and beautiful' (by the way, notice how the 'tall' adjective always comes first)

'Did you play basketball in school?' (Nope, can't dribble to save my life)

'You carry yourself so well' (As opposed to what? Did you expect me to be bent over from the weight?) 

'You must be able to reach things easily?' (Yea, like that 2 year old matzoh hidden in the upper reaches of our kitchen cabinets)

'Is your husband tall too'? (No, I decided to marry a little person)

'That's not fair, you have more plank leverage ' (in regards to working out- yea, but you can crunch better with your tiny torso!)

'Are you a model?' (No, but I play one on TV?')

'How do you find shoes?' (You don't; can you say #catalogshopwhore

Here are some of the issues I've encountered with being a fit tall one:

I love how when I show my before and after picture to people they are impressed and happy for me of course, but then there's always that one person who asks 'Why did you lose weight? You were thin before.' 

I feel like responding 'yes when you're the size of an Amazon, you tend to take up more space vertically, so your eye focuses on that - it's like one of those Las Vegas illusionist shows. ' 

If you stick a tall 40 year old 15-20 lb overweight women next to a tiny 40 year old 5' 0" 20 lb overweight woman, the pixie will be able to get away with far less! Sorry ladies. 

Maybe that's what they meant by saying 'you carry yourself well' but it should be you carry your BODY FAT well. Can you imagine someone saying that? 

Also at my height who's able to see my shaking, undeveloped biceps anyway. You can't even see my little breasts which are desperately saying 'no, no weight loss please!!' You're only at the level of staring straight ahead into my soft ab-less torso. 

All I had to do was throw on some tight size 12 jeans and hide the unbuttoned button/zipper with a lose fitted shirt, and throw on some heels and dang, all they saw was LEG. Take a pixie with cottage cheese legs and stretch her out like on stilts and see what you get ! Illusionist! 

So yes, tall overweight girls have it in the bag. Oh, we work those tricks because we have the advantage of always looking down on you. 

But that doesn't change how we feel about ourselves confidence wise. 

Tall girls can't 'borrow' friends clothes when they gain OR lose weight. And then friends wonder why I saved all these outfits that didn't fit in hopes of getting back my 'high school body' back. One pant leg would be like a Capri - come on! 

My high school body . Ah! The 'only' aspect I loved about being tall and slender in school. Why?

Tall girls get picked last in gym class teams. 

Tall girls don't get asked to the prom

Tall girls have to always stand in the back

Tall girls don't try out for cheerleading (who can lift them?)

Tall girls can order at the bar though I guess, but that might explain the cottage cheese 20 years later! Darn. 

So in short when someone asks me why I lost weight I say 'because I grew tired of staring down at you.'

~Jedi

(P.S. That is my grandfather in the photo. Now you know where I get the 'verticality' from)