I would venture to guess that if I surveyed my friends, asking them if they judged me to be a warm, friendly person or rather an unfriendly , withdrawn individual, they'd pick the former. Am I right friends? But then I pondered whether my behavior with those who already 'know' me is a worthy measure . How about those who don't know me yet ? A stranger on the subway, the person ahead of me on the checkout line, the elevator operator at my home subway station , or my new client who didn't get the privilege of growing up with me, who doesn't know a thing about me except for that I promise to deliver, to lead them to a healthier body and mind.
Just to be transparent I am by nature an introvert. But I adore people. I just need to take it in doses and when I reach my maximum, those who know me well , know I will retreat to a quiet corner and 'think'. Oh I am the master introspection queen! That might explain how I survived my PhD program.
I love to think, examine, ponder, create, and dream. I am the silent toiler. In for the long haul. I enjoy listening to others and gathering a gestalt view of who they are. Because I see the goodness in so many of those I encounter. At gatherings and parties, I don't mind being the ring master and gathering the troops , and I'll do that with flair, but then like a classic introvert , I need to rest and reflect.
So back to how I 'appear' to others who do not yet know me. I have become very in tune with how much more frequently and with genuine warmth I have started to have conversations with people, to smile more, to inquire of others with no particular agenda at all, but to simply show care for another. I can actually 'feel' myself being more friendly and open. And I find this shocking because I assumed I was like this all the time.
The master introspect-er has in fact met her match: me.
I believe she has even learned to grow. The more open I become, the more I want to lead and to think this all started with just a small investment : the cost of little more than a month's worth of coffee and muffins .
This morning I had a lovely conversation with a young man on the subway. He didn't know me. But I made him smile, rather than frown.
~Jedi
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