What is your LEGACY?

Blog Feb 24

This morning I was recalling the first week I started my healthy eating and exercise program. I'm gonna let it all hang out (as it was by the way!) and share some of those thoughts.

It's been said, "Confusion is what happens just before you understand." That is how I was the first few days I was doing PiYo and 21 Day Fix. 

My coach told me to read over my booklet, but did I do it ? No! I didn't even understand that the PiYo package had a calendar, and I was supposed to follow that. I flew by the seat of my pants those first days, grabbing some meal ideas from my friends who were on it in the group, and probably IMed my coach several times that week. 

But the good news is that by asking lots of questions in my group, I learned! I expanded my arsenal. I finally figured out the benefit of writing down my meals, and using the Beachbody website as a source for interesting meals too. 

I enjoyed seeing my fitness friends (new and old) accomplishing their mini-goals. I clung to those pictures. I clapped. I hooted when someone announced they had broken their plateau. I cheered when they had dropped their 1st five pounds or that 1st inch, or even a milestone of 60 lbs, or 100. 

I had no expectation going in. In fact I "assumed" it would not work, but I had nothing to lose. And heck, I'm innately social. I was banking on a miracle. 

All I knew was that I decided I was tired of worrying about my thyroid. I was exhausted from stress.  I was sick of feeling bloated and getting nowhere. My stomach has seriously been bloated probably my whole life. My mother always had it too. I just assumed it was some hereditary issue. I had so many pants that were getting tight and looked 'silly'. Who wants to wear a big sweater, so you can hide the unbuttoned button or undone snap?

I was falling asleep midday and slamming coffees with half and half. I'd try eating salads for a few days, but then I'd eat a huge pasta Alfredo. My husband and I would pop chocolate in the evening after dinner. I'd drink water every once in a while, but not nearly as much as I do now.  We'd have wine on the weekend. Neither of us were really working out. He'd go mountain biking once a month. Ok, so? 

He had a gym membership that he used 4 times in one year. I was doing yoga 1 day a week for 1 hour. That's it. I could barely squeeze that it. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't necessarily 'helping' me to feel healthy or drop this weight. It did calm me a little for work on the day I did it, so I hung onto it. 

No matter what I did I didn't drop a single pound. 4 years after having my daughter, same weight post breastfeeding. Not "overweight," surely. But not toned, not healthy, not solid, not slim. Just 'not overweight' and fortunately 'tall'.

In fact when I hit 40, as the books would predict, maniacal laugh, I saw a few pounds even go up. Then I just said "$&@? This must be how it happens. This is what my mother used to say." Keep in mind my mother was always overweight. At her worst she was about 250, and had to shop in the larger section for full-bodied women (her phrase).

So one day this Sept when I realized I would not have my mother anymore in the future, (I sensed the end was coming), I just said to myself:

 "Do you want to gamble?" 

"Will you just be complacent and let either Parkinson's or perhaps colon cancer take you at some point"? "Will you be ok with leaving behind to your children just an ordinary history?" 

"Will they eat unhealthy?" 

"Who will guide them?" 

"What kind of model are you?" 

"What is your legacy beyond your 'work'?" 

That's right. I'm successful already. I've achieved so much professionally, but that pales in comparison to my health. Wouldn't you agree? 

My mom is gone. I want to leave a health legacy. A 'me' who is around for a long time, so I decided to take a leap and change it. 

And so began my week #1 of confusion before I understood :)