Day 76 Back from Illness

I'm so used to being 'home' with my girls and not having to run off that when I am called away for some reason, I feel a great appreciation for what I didn't always have. 

I have these moments when I'm driving a long distance where I'm transported back to a time - a time when I put in long hours as a commuter, and got home long after sunset, where I would be dreaming about coming home after a long day, just waiting to taste something comforting, a glass or two of wine, and always some snacks and desserts that my husband would buy for the same reason, to comfort himself too after exhaustion. The thought of it was in some ways overpowering my own desire to be with the girls to be totally honest. I would be so tired that I didn't want to speak. Their mouths would move and I would smile. But I couldn't tell you what they said. All I wanted was to become numb and chill. I wanted them to go to bed, so I could retreat inward. 

I decided to share this really old transformation of me from just 6 weeks into my PiYo program (2014) and then 19 weeks (2015) after I had done 2 rounds and a new round of Insanity Max 30. I show this because one night I did something different instead of having that glass and that dessert. 

Everyone was asleep and at 10:30pm I popped in a 30 min workout called PiYo. I hated it. I couldn't do half the moves she was showing, and I was mad because wasn't I once good at yoga? Julie, you used to be a runner? You can't even hold your leg up there for 5 seconds and bounce a bit? 

Little did I know I had just taken an ACTION, an action based on a decision that I made. No one made it for me or did it for me. I believed it might do something for me. It was more than just late-night sweating and cursing. 

It was the beginning of a miracle. A miracle that has lasted 15 months, and lasted way longer than those first 30 minutes. 

I'm not even gonna mention the numbers. Lots of weight off my heart is all you need to understand. The woman my girls get to greet when she comes  home, when she wakes up, is a woman of passion, of energy, of confidence, who speaks, who really listens now and is 100% present. 

And I selfishly don't want them to go to bed! 😉