Buckle up Darth! Day 58

I told Vadar he best buckle his seat belt, as we are taking the road less traveled. 

Most people I work with, myself included, come to an impassable crossroads. We have the tools we need to succeed at weight-loss, body building, business building <you fill in your own blank here>, but we don't do it because of our philosophy, our values are in conflict. We say we wanna do 'X', but we don't do it. The doing part is DOING because it means the most to you and so you take action. 

And if it doesn't, it means you're not clear on what it means for you or it does not hold the most meaning. That's ok too, but then don't keep saying that's what you want. 

The road to success is less traveled for this reason. I suspect Vadar is not happy about it. The Dark Side comes out full force when you are closest to finding the root of the conflict. 

Which road will you be taking?

Day 55 Mind Games

Only 5 days left to go! Wobbled through this morning, but here's how if you're not careful, your mind can play games with you. I could easily focus on the fact I failed the isometric push-ups, when I've done them just fine so many times before. But instead I'm gonna keep in mind how when I started this program I was using what Regina now terms 'the baby weights' - 'her weights' and I've moved on to 15s and 20s. I built a tush. You don't "shape" one, you build it with patience, lifting, and lots of eating 😂. I'd rather wobble here, then find parts of me shaking around. 

So much of this 'is' a mind game. When I look back to 2014, challenges that I thought were crazy, don't seem that way anymore . Food that I thought I couldn't have. Moves I thought I couldn't do. People I thought wouldn't talk to me. Relationships that seemed so important at the time. Projects that had these deadlines that I thought were reasonable lol. Mistakes that I thought would cost me dearly. I told myself I'd be somewhere in 1 month, then 3, then 6, then a year. And I've seen that whenever I got there, it was due to what I did. Not bulldozing through life, not crushing people, not burying myself, but just by simply sticking to the little things. If I can get through just 4 minutes more of this test, I can say I survived. If I can survive the embarrassment, I can learn to refine for next time. If I can suffer a little today, maybe give up something that means putting someone else forward, I can get something in return later. I can see the mark I have left. The change for them. It's the same with yourself. Tiny gains become a prideful masterpiece. The cool thing is: time is in your favor. 

Day 54, Master's But Not Feeling At All Masterful

Day 54-

Did this routine called Master's Cardio. But keep in mind, I survived Shaun T's Insanity, so this should honestly be an ace in the hole. Right? The whole workout is one the shortest: 17 minutes 

Yet, what happened? 

Poor decisions last night is what happened. I miscalculated and planned wrong. Went over on some sugars (bread) and my vegetables count was totally inadequate. Water intake? Ridiculously low. I don't even think I came close to covering half of what I should have been eating either. So this is why when people say to me "I have no energy, I always respond with 'show me the food.' It doesn't matter that I used to do one-arm burpees with Shaun. I could barely get through this one of 16 minutes. 

But it proves the point. Everytime I follow the container colors precisely and get my crap together including a decent night's sleep, which I did not have, the workouts are seamless. I feel like I could do double that. So some of it is a mind game, yes. But it's so much about chemistry as well. I am also finding that balancing on one side comes easier - the right I believe . Again I was in a runner's balance move and wobbling around like that dippy bird. 

Day 53 Monday Balance

Today was Chisel Balance, not one of my favorite workouts. I do not like the pistol squats with weights because I'm wobbly on the one side more than the other. Whenever I feel off balance unfortunately I always think like I'm having the beginning of some debilitating symptom. I know that is completely silly and ungrounded. It's all emotional. But when you have lived and cared for someone with a deteriorating illness, then it's just how you think. You wonder 'oh was that how it started with her?' and so forth. 

So I hate those balance type of swinging pendulum moves. I feel like that glass bird my Grandfather gave me that used to "dip" into a cup, haha. Crazy what you remember. 

I struggled this morning because I went to sleep too late. I normally like to be in bed by 10:00pm, but I was awake until 1:00am. Way too late! I pushed through all the 40 min. I think this is one of the longest. Of course I 'prefer' the 30 min ones. 

The school had a delayed opening which throws me off for a different reason now than it did say a year ago when I was still working full time. Delayed opening meant everything getting thrown off on my office routine because I'd be late, then I'd have to figure out which one of us (my husband or I ) would have to "compromise" our work schedule to see who could get both our girls to school (in two different buildings about 3 blocks apart)

Well, today I just took the extra hour and got up at 6:00am to work and get this in. 

I cannot even express here how comforting the 'morning routine' is for me . When I was coaching part time and working full time I used to have all kinds of excuses as to why I couldn't get shit done. Well, now I know! Because I wasn't getting up early. But that's the funny thing about counseling others in nutrition and exercise . Once I can just get a person to trust the process that 'if' the nutrition can get fixed first , slowly but surely your system will be more energized. Once THAT takes place, and you take the one-time scary step of waking up early one time, to workout for example and get some personal development in, even 10 minutes, it's addicting. You will never go back to working out at night . But I get you. You find it hard to trust because it involves going into the unknown. The 'known' is easier. 

This whole week I tried it, I think 3 times, and my goodness, these night workouts, sucked! How can you wait until the whole day is over to try to force it out? Well. I know the answer. When you start as a working parent, you may have to, only because your nutrition doesn't kick in until about 10 days into my programs . Then you feel the fog lifting and suddenly the 'impossible' just doesn't look so much like it used to. 

Be careful today Monday Mayhem peeps. Make it a day where you reflect on what you really miss. What you really forgot to dream about . ~Jedi 

Day 52 Jedi

Again, not the early morning I had hoped for, but i did get my session in before noon. I think this workout Hammer Power, with the dead lifts and clean and jerk are among my favorites . I really feel so strong. I guess I'm amazed how lifting and pushing to try a little more weight can get you sweating! I used to think cardio was the only way, but that is so false, as I'm finding out .

 So comparing early morning workouts to afternoon, the former is still better because I like setting the tone. I like getting my coaching personal development done right after my session, and I like the stillness of the house (well as still as it can get with a drooling 90 lb lab breathing down your neck for love and kisses.) 

Conversely though having my daughters watching me workout and sometimes joining in (afternoon exercise) is nice. Obviously at 5:00am they are typically stil asleep. 

I was really taken today with the lightness of a 15 lb weight in my hand 'after' I hold a 20 lber. I thought to myself 'there was a time when you could barely lift a 10! ' 

I'm feeling proud. 

Do you know every day when I workout I thank god that I am healthy and I promise to be careful of my moves, respect myself and I think 'pay attention to what you're doing'? 

You owe it to everyone to be careful. I don't get sloppy . If something doesn't feel right, or I'm getting tired, I'll listen to my body. It doesn't mean I won't push to get better or lift more. I will. But I'm aware of the fragility of life, and so I take each minute carefully and not mindlessly. Hope that makes sense? 

Be well y'all! 

Jedi 

Day 51 Jedi

Jedis here I am, better late than never! Feel like I'm back to the days of being a new mom or something! Oy! As in being up all night. But reality is my little one was restless. 

So today was Day 51 of my program, and as you know, I'm not wet behind the ears when it comes to home workouts. I've completed a handful and can handle a lot. But lately they have been drudgery. 

This morning I felt stronger. Why? You might ask. Nutrition. Plain and simple. I was back on my game since Monday despite the rest of the household being out of sync, it's true. Whenever my food is sugar-laiden or categories missing, I'm dying in my workouts. 

So as I did Total Body Chisel today, I felt the most challenging were the step down, cross-back moves which as a tall person are funny! With my stepping up on my "bench" (which by the way is literally a piano bench in my home), I almost touch the ceiling. 😂 These moves, I wish I could do in one clean stroke, but I'm struggling at the top, pushing up to the top of the bench. Once I touch back to the floor, I'm ok. I have to stop and pause the DVD player or streaming in my laptop, so I can do the 10 at my own pace, wobbling with a little extra "shove" at the top, to hoist my hip up and get my tush down. I look funny as hell. 

The lunges and flys were no problem. I was actually quite proud of myself to upping my ability to 20 lbs on most moves except for upper body (presses I switched between 15 and 20, not too shabby). I am out of the Performance Line Recharge and my body is really needing that healing overnight. Hoping it arrives shortly, so I'm not so stiff and sore in the morning. 

This whole week has been really rough with my middle daughter being sick. She didn't go to school for 4 days, and I found myself not being able to do my usual 5:00am. My personal development and my professional power hours for coaching work were started much later, which just becomes harder for me. Let me go on record saying "Yuck! Evening workouts stink!" Just no way I'll ever switch. I love being an early riser. Funny how we can change. Looking back I don't know how I did it. 

When plans go awry!

I have to keep telling myself that it's necessary to follow the river. Bend as it bends. Just know that rigidity won't work in this like of business. My daughter was sick today and so everything was thrown off. My workout got done late; my cooking and meal prep was delayed and a bit sloppy. 

I think one of the coolest things that came out of today was the fact I formed a new team with some coaches I have not worked with before. It was simply for a fun, internal competition. I thought to myself it might be really rewarding to be with new people, and I was inspired by their excitement. 

Then I got a little juju with a surprise enrollment for a trip to the Dominican Republic, with a colleague in my organization - something I'm very much looking forward to. I was fairly certain the trip was not gonna happen - be sold out. 

A wonderful message from a client of mine came next, sharing with me how she lost 9 lbs in one week using her new plan. I always get the most excited when someone who is NOT a newcomer decides to try again and makes major progress. It's wonderful to see! 

But I think the highlight of the evening was getting in touch again with the reason I started this whole journey. It happened by accident - I was just texting with a friend about why I do this. He said something to the effect of he can see my 'reason' and why it's so real. I appreciated those words. And it made me reflect on the bottom line of my work as a coach: 

"...And I met all these great clients. People from all over the country .... Nice .. Really great people, when you see them change it's like a ripple effect. Their families get better ... And so forth...My parents taught me you have to do those things for people ... Make a difference. That's why I do it. I want to see people be the best they can be.  Live 'in motion' .. Be in motion and just enjoy what is left of their life ... If I can 'extend ' their lives even by a few years and make it good for them, then it will have been worth while..." 

Somehow in chatting with my friend, I had a good reminder of why it matters. 

~Jedi

Allergies and Life

For those of you who follow me on Facebook you know I took my daughter to the allergist today. Like me she is growing up with allergies. Not the asthma thank goodness, but she's similar in that she's got mold, dust. She also has dust mites and birch trees and mild milk and dog allergies. Not so great given we have a dog! 

It's hard seeing your kid go thorough this. She has flare ups of her eczema and it pains me to see her scratching . Then she's dealing with the onset of a mild stutter. Sigh. Sometimes you just can't outrun family history. 

I grew up with asthma, allergies to pollen, dust, mold and tree nuts. Fortunately I overcame the tree nut allergy, dust and pollen we hit with allergy shot treatments in elementary, but mold is still my enemy. 

I remember my Mom putting me in the shower to allow the steam to open my lungs, holding my hands up above my head as my doctor taught me, to help with air flow, carrying my inhaler in gym class, and Theodore 300 that she would crack in half. 

Then the joys of allergy shots every week. The doctor let my mom administer them herself since she had been a lab tech in a hospital. I hated Wednesdays for this reason; the humiliation of your own mother giving you a shot. It added to my list of f***-up-ed-ness. Freaky tall, stutter, allergies, asthma, skin scars from growing too fast. You know what I'm talking about -- the little things. 

My goal this time around is to model life a little different for her. To help her see that burdens and obstacles don't have to define you. I have to do more than just say 'oh stop scratching.' I have to get her to see she can be strong and learn to take punches as they come with rationaility- to know she is more than just her outside skin. Her being is what is so beautiful. At least I am relieved to know we have a remedy on the horizon and we know what to look out for specifically now. Still as a Mom I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her all will be ok. And you know what? It will . 

~Jedi 

Trust

Today I was blown away by something which could have easily been overlooked I suspect. A client of mine who is not new at all, in fact she's been with me for about 8 months or so decided to get back on track. We had been talking all along as I always thought of her, but didn't want to be all over her case. I care about her so much, if she only knew how much I wanted her to succeed... So she finally said she had just had enough and needed to try again. We reviewed balanced eating, and I checked her meal plans for tomorrow; she bounced some ideas off me. I'm really excited for her - the thought of making it happen , taking action and hoping again. She even said she was looking forward to the exercises tomorrow morning. 

But what really struck a cord was when she mentioned that she had never disclosed her measurements to anyone not even her own mother. Think about that. The kind of trust and commitment to confide what's most 'secret' to you. I get it. I do. She's likely feeling disappointed in her current progress, but she's turning it around today. I felt touched but maybe even a little awkward that someone would entrust me with that. These are sacred things, you handle with great care. I just wished her the best and hid the measurements in a notepad  in code. But it was what made my day today knowing she is trying again. I appreciate her trust to give me that gift 

Jedi 

Super Saturday tomorrow with Anny

Super Saturday tomorrow! Can't wait to share this with Anny my eldest daughter . 

She's one of my biggest supporters of my career change to coaching. Let's see what the day brings! 

~Jedi 

Cursed Cardio Day

It was almost about 7:00 I think and I still hadn't exercised. As you know that is so not like me. Jedi is usually up and all done with that sort of thing by 6:00am, so to be getting it in that late was so weird for me. My daughter wasn't feeling so great from her eczema - the poor thing has these flare ups . Then I got to thinking : flex your entrepreneurial muscle today . It's your earned right to just keep her home if she's not up to going into pre-K. It'd be one thing if she were in the older grades, but not this little munchkin . I felt really bad for her; and it was so nice, I must admit, to just snuggle under the blankets on the sofa and watch a movie with her. I waited 11 years to be able to do this with one of my girls: not have to send them in to school sick or have to scramble at the last minute to see if a friend or someone could help out, most of the time changing my schedule was not gonna work, or I'd lose the money and could never afford to take the risk. 

I am very grateful that I can at any moment make that choice. Well today I did and it was a reflection on my decision last year to truly focus all my energy on wellness (myself and others), that I made the right choice. The road less traveled can often be lonely. You make others uncomfortable when you suddenly disrupt the norm, everyone begins to question themselves and what 'they' are doing; your decision causes self-reflection in others - like holding a mirror to their own faces, and typically they do NOT like what they see. They want you to just stop all that shit and go back to the status quo, no rocking, no molecule disrupting, haha. But it doesn't work that way, does it? You're not going to compromise your values and your dreams so that others don't have to get uncomfortable. 

Today I discovered through a value conversation with my partner that we actually diverge in our dreams and belief systems. It will be a lonely road for me, as I had hoped my vision would create teamwork , but that is not to be after all. I can accept it but I'm not happy about it. Still I'd chose reality any day of the week over kicking a tire, which is what I seem to be doing lately. 

After finally getting in my workout belfry 8:00pm -- phew I hate exercising at night . I don't know how people can do that! I will definitely avoid this again. The excuse to tend to Regina, my mother's namesake, my last princess was worth it.  Can I still say I cursed out Autumn several times. I think the girls heard me, lol. 

Until tomorrow then ! 

Jedi 

CIZE of your confidence

So here I am preparing for my new group fitness class in dance: CIZE

It starts next Monday. I know my heart is in it, I feel great when I'm in the middle of doing it, and my mission to help others slim down and gain confidence is always foremost in my mind. With that, I feel less nervous. Anytime you lead with goodness and honesty, you can't go wrong. There's a place for you. There is success and care coming your way because your intentions are based in love and concern. 

Like anyone, I've got those first-time jitters. Wondering will the equipment fail (like my Mac blows up, I forget some rhythm) I guess any of those things could happen, but I'll try to stack the deck against that of course! 

It's funny to remember Shaun T is July, muscular and such a 'large' presence in that auditorium teaching us...class #1...

What a terrific momento to put in your scrap book. Shaun T, so humble and sincere. You want to just reach out and hug the guy - his heart is so big. I remember the music, the original choreography from that day, our breakout groups, people in my class, my assistants...

I'm laughing still because seriously if someone had said to me: "Julie, a year from now you will not be sitting in your corporate office, you will be launching a class, and you will be leading others in a healthy lifestyle .." I don't know. Would I have thought they were on crack? Perhaps! Yea. 

It's been a year of growth in confidence for me. I've overcome so much too. Not that everyday isn't a struggle; my weakness is always my family and my intimate relationships. Somehow I can lead in so many other areas yet get all snared in the love twist. I guess that's the part I am still trying to unearth and refine. 

Always a work in progress. 

Memory Board & My Single Days

Tonight I posted about a board I have in my house, well actually it was more like the attic, because unfortunately I have moved dozens of times in the last 8 years and this poor thing keeps getting packed and unpacked - I got it in a junk sale I think and painted it red to match my earth tones of my home in Port Jefferson and then Huntington. I was almost 30 and getting divorced from my first husband. I was a single mom with my daughter Anne split between our respective homes half the week. Our divorce was very bitter and cost me about $40K. Hard to believe even now what that kind of money could do for me now . 

But this board meant a lot because I saved the little momentos from our years together before I remarried . I referred to them as 'dark times' and they did seem dark then but someone reminded me this evening that they're not really dark, just different. They were ours and no one else's. We made the best of what we had and we have fond memories now. She and I did so many activities! Theatre, games, after school activities, horses, trips to beach and Maine; she still loves apples as much as she did then too. I loved her crafty butterflies and her photo from her preschool cubby. I'll never forget her napkins where she drew Turkeys for Thanksgiving. She was always the artist. 

I often talk about the program now as a coach serving as my beacon through rough times . When I was single I endured much hardship and I had to remember to keep a lot of it from her, or at least try to; I was hustling 3 jobs, and still finishing my doctoral degree. I just remember being very confused, tired, and often angry. But we had some of the most amazing times together. She was my beacon then and I'm glad I'm around to show her the best of me now. 

Tonight I shared my dream board of 2016 with her. She has faith in me she says. I am honored to have her as a daughter. Thank you for believing in me the way I once did in you. 

Value

There was a time in my 20s when I thought having a dozen friends was a sign you 'were' somebody. I can clearly remember putting up with friends for example who would rarely come to visit me, or always forget my birthday, or how about this: only come to me for guidance and stress reduction, but never offer a kind word, their ear, or shoulder when I needed it. And I kept making the effort to help them because I thought 'that' kind of giving and extending would translate to some value they would see in me, and from that, change. 

Oh no. 

That is so not how this game of life works. That is not the kind of giving and receiving we need to be a part of at all. 

I decided I would give value to those who expressed kindness and honesty (even if it hurt - that's ok), and gave back to me in whatever small way they could. I never measured that return. But those who belittled me, or violated my trust, or were unwilling to 'see', had to go. 

You get to a certain point where you just realize you have a right to 'be' and do not exist for the disposal of others. 

#mondaymatters

Don't stop dreaming !

Today I did a very fun activity using my phone as well as my hands - the tangible - the love that goes into making something is really important and key to making what you want happen. I created a dream board this evening with all the things I want to accomplish this year of 2016.  

Some of these images represent business goals as a entrepreneur & wellness coach and some pertain to just sheer joyful activities I will get from having accomplished those goals. I shared this with my inner circle of coaches - a group of bad-asses like I am, who set goals and do them! We make sure we know 'why' we are choosing them, how we feel doing them, and how we will execute. 

 

I actually had made a vision board last year when I had only been a coach for one month. I had little idea what I was getting into, but my own mentor said,  'make it'. Wouldn't you know it? All of the things put down came true. 

So here I am again and oh man! Do I have some big dreams this year! And I won't settle for the mediocre. 

I did that for too many years- being cautious , always going the middle road, not standing out too much. 

At 41, there are things I want to enjoy and I'm going to make sure my daily activities point with a huge arrow towards those. 

When was the last time you listened to your heart about what you want to enjoy? Do you even know or bother ? I bet you have stopped. Why? 

There is something so innate and healthy about dreaming. Children do it of course and often young adults. But somewhere along the line, we kill it. You know what disappears with dreaming ? Our creative juices. They are stirred when we dream . 

I ask you to take some time today to continue dreaming. Make a dream board with me . 

I would love to see it too. 

~Jedi 

Welcome to a New Year

I had stopped writing in my blog when I was over in Moscow this summer. I think just being abroad and all the pressures of  dealing with time zone change and a foreign system had me overwhelmed. I'm back though.  

Hopefully someone out there is happy to see the Jedi blogging again. I tell ya what... I'm gonna hold myself to it. 

So many people 'begin' the new year disgusted at what they didn't accomplish. If I could say one thing to you, I would share this:

Don't be like everyone else. Don't start another year today promising yourself something is going to be different. It will only be different IF you make it so. You. 

I stuck out one (1) solid year of 2015 on exercising and eating right. At times I'm asking myself 'How did I pull this off?' Because it was not a cake walk - no pun on those sugars, haha. 

It means so much more that I can look at the difference I see in me over one year. I hope that for you too. To be able to revel in this moment when you can say you stuck to something because YOU wanted it for yourself - not that someone forced it on you. 

I think the best laid plans come from when you want it just for no other reason than you decided to dream and came up with that very dream: to feel better about yourself. (Or whatever it may be)

Can you listen to yourself ? No frills, no fancy, no fuss and just shut up for once? What is your SELF trying to say to you? 

We are constantly ignoring 'us'. 

We say 'shut up'. 

We say 'you shouldn't be thinking that ... feeling that.'

Just shut up for once. Will ya? Listen, already!