There was a time in my 20s when I thought having a dozen friends was a sign you 'were' somebody. I can clearly remember putting up with friends for example who would rarely come to visit me, or always forget my birthday, or how about this: only come to me for guidance and stress reduction, but never offer a kind word, their ear, or shoulder when I needed it. And I kept making the effort to help them because I thought 'that' kind of giving and extending would translate to some value they would see in me, and from that, change.
Oh no.
That is so not how this game of life works. That is not the kind of giving and receiving we need to be a part of at all.
I decided I would give value to those who expressed kindness and honesty (even if it hurt - that's ok), and gave back to me in whatever small way they could. I never measured that return. But those who belittled me, or violated my trust, or were unwilling to 'see', had to go.
You get to a certain point where you just realize you have a right to 'be' and do not exist for the disposal of others.
#mondaymatters
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