Jedi Chronicles Day 1-4

Day 1-4 of the Rest of My New Life:

Let me start by saying it was a surreal moment when I arrived to the ferry and realized I was truly 'home'. I envisioned my parents waiting at the door as they used to, either waving goodbye when I would depart or coming out to the stoop when I had arrived. That was the moment the tears came. It was an overwhelming emotion: they would not physically be there, just in spirit. Their spirits certainly are strong when I'm there. I feel it in the warmth and well wishes of friends and neighbors. I feel it when I stand and prepare meals at the same counter my mother did. She called it 'paradise', and had told me she never regretted a moment when she left her job to move out to the island. 

Today I had my friend over who sat and read excerpts from a book he is writing. It's a lost art: reading to someone. He was also one who cared for my mother for a long time when she was declining. He said that I 'sounded like <my> mother' when I spoke. I took that as a compliment . My mother had a wonderful voice; she was strong-willed, but soft spoken, very feminine when you heard her over the phone, but she could deck you if she so chose! 

It's taken me a few days to adjust to being at home with the kids, organizing my day: planning how I want to do my workout, checking in with my clients, finding fun time with the kids, preparing healthy meals, staying in touch with my coaches, working on my AFAA certification course, reading my personal development...building my business...

I do feel enormous joy working from home. I am waking up with so much promise to the day. I set up a 'home office' using my grandmother's antique fold-out desk. 

It's not without its challenges. Today I had to tell my daughter she couldn't get something in town because there literally wasn't any money in our account. I used money a friend owed me and a gift certificate to buy food. We'll get paid next Friday, so sometimes it'll be tight. Honestly it's giving me a kick in the butt to stay laser focussed on what I need to do and to remember to have faith and keep giving back. When I have done that,  I find the universe pays me back two-fold. 

I'm enjoying also reconnecting with those in my community-like returning to a larger "family". I've already had an epic fail with my fireplace, since I realized all the wood is not seasoned. Duh! We have a lot, but we weren't there often enough to remember to get the wood off the ground and covered, so my husband and I have our work cut out for us. My neighbor was kind enough to share some split logs and kindling for at least one or two days. 

I'm getting used to keeping the temperature down so we save money on oil. We're just throwing on extra sweaters :) I am grateful to NOT have a hot living room any longer for working out. That used to drive me nuts in the city because we had no control over the heat. It's such a difference being able to sweat and stay cooled. I'm finding my workouts are going much better. I'm maxing out at a later time. 

I'm getting back to my roots in cooking as well. I've started making my own bread, humus, guacamole, almond milk, and excited to see what will be on my menu next week. 

In just 4 days of eating clean and balanced (before life got crazy with moving and work) I'm feeling amazing! I dropped just a few pesky pounds I had gained from grazing over the stress of packing up the city apartment. I am still astounded at how the program helps me stay connected to my SELF- how it steadies me, and even when I fall off it's simplistic beauty is right there waiting. There are no proper words to do it justice. 

My daughter said today 'I love being home with you. Can we stay together forever?'

'Yes, we can.' 

~Jedi 

Budgeting Time

One of the things I'm struggling with this week is budgeting time. If I focus attention 15 min here, 5 min there, 20 min elsewhere, I actually feel more exhausted. Who can't relate? See, no hands went up! 

This has been a struggle for me in general recently.  I am passionate about what I do. And when that fire in my belly starts, all I want to do is shut the world out and do what I need to do. It's never a case of my 'not' knowing what needs to get accomplished. That part is easy! I just write it down. It's the getting over that initial crunch, that groaning-uncomfortable-I-don't-want-to-be-here-in-this-moment feeling and subsequently getting discouraged when it's still on my bullet list from last week. That just makes me insane. 

Charlene Johnson has said 'You are only in competition with yourself.' I feel that to be true. I know I'm squandering precious minutes and could cut that way back by doing a power hour. But at least in my current situation I have not been able to be consistent with it. The organizational skills are there lying beneath the surface waiting to come out, much like abs trying to peek out from that outer layer of fat. 

I was listening this morning to some personal development podcasts and one in particular spoke of the importance of removing distractors! Yes, even this Blog is one. Facebook is worse, obviously because it takes time and effort to manipulate the controls of the newsfeed and notifications, and words/ads/photos are continually spilling over to you. 

So we all might want to consider waiting to turn those phones on, and do our reading first thing in the morning. Or in my case it's that I walk my dog and tune in before I start my day. At that point the cell phone is otherwise occupied with a podcast. 

In other words examine how you slice up the day. Maybe there's room for redirection. 

Writing it down solidifies it, just like my clients write out their meal plans each day. I firmly believe once something goes in writing, it's binding :)

When April 1 rolls around, I'll be honing in on that "power hour" to see how channeling my energies works out. Stay tuned. 

~Jedi 

When You Balance

"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away." ~Barbara de Angelis

 

 

I think it's important to be aware of signals your body is giving you. Feelings can be overwhelming. I know for me the pressures of my day job are driving me to make poor food choices - things I know are not a good investment. Why do I keep doing this? It's because I am not listening to my SELF. When you find that you are out of balance, put a foot down. Feel the security of the earth beneath you. You might be wobbly - that's ok.

 

This morning I listened intently and realized I needed to start the day off with something better: green tea.  Simple!

 

Then I picked my foot up again to sprint.

When You Can Be Successful

Sometimes a friend reaches out to me to ask how can they stick to an exercise and eating program under all the 'stress' they have. Who hasn't been in a similar situation? I experienced it with my mother being sick on top of working a 9-5 job and caring for my family. 

But everyone, honestly, has a story like this. There is nothing unique about mine or the person who asks me, or even your own story. 

I've come to the realization that when you accept the fact that there is NO perfectly-stress-free- time-frame, where all will work in your favor, and the universe will align, so you can kill it at your program, only then will you be successful.

When you "embrace " the program as a part of you: the ONLY thing that will sustain you under the WORST of situations , then you can view it as a friend, a companion, something to steady you. Then you can and WILL handle everything. 

The key is to embrace it- let it fill you in the WORST of times. Not waiting. Not hoping.

Second, your family has to be made to understand: this is your sanity. It is not a temporary state. It will not be going away. It will be at the top of your list. Enlist their help: no matter how young, how absent, how busy, how ignorant. 

You have to stand your ground and share it with them. It should not be 'oh yea (s)he does that thing - that eating and exercise '. It should be 'this is my (wife/mom/husband/dad) and this is her/his life. - it's important to him/her and I will help her/him make it'. That is what the atmosphere has to be in your household.  Make it happen,  my friends. Show support and share. 

~Jedi

Let It Be A Beacon

I was communicating this evening to my fitness group. I've got 40 people in that group which does blow my mind! I remember when I started it with just a handful. 

My last post this evening to my team was to remind them of why the accountability group is a safe place. It's a place to get it all out, with no judgements, no comparing, no ridicule. The person who jumps back in after being AWOL for 2 days or 2 months, the person who announces or doesn't, it is all equal to me. 

I reminded them that they can jump back in like it was day 1 and we would still gather around them regardless because we are all worthy of support. 

There's no perfectionism in my groups. There's a common bond though- and that's what I make my groups hold to. I firmly believe in...

👌no going to the dark side

👌no pity parties

👌no judgements

👌respect

👌love of your SELF

Some of us have life getting in the way. It's ok. I'm asking you to consider 'embracing' exercise and balanced eating full force EXACTLY when it's that bad- that busy. That is the time you'll need it. 

When my mother was in hospice dying I was in the parking lot screaming out loud, with the windows rolled up tight, to my dead father to please end this. Please give me a sign. 

Why was I in the car? I was mixing a packet of my shake in my tumbler with water . My hands were shaking. I had my veggies and humus on the passenger seat. This was all I f--n had, but I was hanging on by my fingernails- I just kept saying to myself : "hold onto this"..."don't lose this". I dug deep instead of forfeiting it all, instead of waiting for a better perfect time that you and I both know does not exist. That is what this program gave me: an anchor, a beacon in the worse of waves, a safe harbor. Drop it and ride it out. Let it be a companion, a base and it will lead you through the worst of times. 

Dig deep. Look for that beacon. 

(This picture I posted to my own fitness group just as I was sitting in the car - mom died 7 hrs later). 

When You're Stopped

There will undoubtedly come a time where your health throws you a curve. Since I started my exercise program of 6 days per week back in October, the most I've missed is 2 consecutive days. In fact, it makes me crazy thinking about not working out. This makes me want to truly laugh out loud because the better sense - my logical side-  says 'it will all be ok'. Taking a few days off is not going to break me. But I'm so dedicated now that I can't imagine life without it. The morning routine, my headphones on and listening to podcasts fuels my mornings, followed by my exercise. 

But can you believe I wasn't like this 6-8 months ago. I never could have maintained 6 days a week routine. I could barely pull 1 day and I would often find an excuse just for that one. 

Isn't it amazing how our bodies want to go into homeostasis- it doesn't like to be awakened. But once it is, it's a case of 'get out of my way'. 

It's hard getting started, but it's also hard being told to "stop". For those of you out there who maybe suffered an injury or an illness, or as me, got sidelined because of a colonoscopy, trust that the time can be used wisely to reflect on what you 'have' done up until now, the lives you've influenced including your own. I was blown away by how many of my clients said they were doing double workouts: one for them and one for the one I couldn't do . Now 'that' is one cool gesture. Isn't it? 

Be grateful today and reflect. 

~Jedi 

Letting Go

This has been a week of 'firsts' for me. We all reminisce about our first attempts in life: our first time living away from home, first time Dad or Mom let go of the bike, our first touch or kiss, our first child, our first day at work. 

Yesterday I announced when my "last day" at work would be. As I write this sentence, it's difficult to express the bundled knot of emotions this is. I am on the cusp of 10 years with them. They have been a strong, tenacious thread throughout many other upheavals in my life. They are composed of admirable, dedicated professionals, who are like family to me. They have a noble mission and everything from craft to product displays that commitment. 

So why am I leaving the mission? Because I have one that is greater calling me. My children will never be able to accuse me of slacking off. Ironically it's quite the opposite. Some of them may find fault with how 'driven' I was professionally. They'll understand that it came from my parents who had strong work ethic. My dad was always hustling, holding side work even with a full time job. I was taught to look out for those who can't themselves. My father was an activist; he led a cause to protect citizens from nuclear fall out. He believed that injustice was something you fought against. His mitzvahs were many. So I hope my older children will accept that I bore the weight when others couldn't. 

Now the universe opened up to me, perhaps a gratitude gesture for my sore shoulders. I was given a chance to be with my children. Not just 7-8am, and 6-9pm, but all day long if I so choose. I choose my family. We only get so many chances. 

My friend Dr Flo Rosof, Director of the Life Development Center of Huntington, NY, of which I'm a product, says 'The only way out is through.' This week was the hardest to push through because it meant saying goodbye to one life, and opening up to another. But isn't courage being afraid, yet pushing through regardless. 

This week was a first of many:

I received the best bill of health I have ever gotten. My blood pressure was at a record low for me. I had made a new friend in fitness, a family man who is passionate about his health and others, and he joined my team. I embarked on a new fitness program, and I'm laughing and having fun in the mornings. I am feeling proud and grateful to my loving husband who was courageous in his own way. He braved a new country and a foreign language, and the Atlantic Ocean to commit to me. And now I will take care of our children better for him. I helped a record number of men and women this month of February. I had my first Deaf challenger in my monthly free health group! It was my first time writing 'self employed' on a form. 

Dad has let go of the bike and I am flying on my own now. 

~Jedi