Dump the shame now!

I'm not at all shocked by the amount of shame I see many of my clients attach to their lives. Everyone's worried about being judged. Misuse of food is just the tip of a deep iceberg. Coaches are the least judgmental. We've been there.  If you want to talk 'shame', you're gonna have to get in line:

I grew up a stutterer. This is a picture of my childhood friend Stephanie. I'll never forget watching her walk down the hall at school and wanting to call out to her, but I couldn't. I had to let her walk on. I cried because that day for whatever reason complex onsets just weren't happening. Next day it could be that 'n' wouldn't come, or perhaps 'b'. If it was a good day, I could order at a restaurant myself. Bad day? My parents had to order FOR me. How shameful is circumventing the word you want to say because you can't? Hating the telephone. Never trying out for theater. Only raising my hand in class 'if' it was a 'good syllable' day. All those thoughts unsaid. 

Then why on earth become a professor? An interpreter? Talk about 'on stage'!

After years of therapy, I decided no more hiding. I was not gonna let my mouth be my prison. 

So please: dump the shame now. Speak. For your SELF. No one else will. 

Why don't we deserve good?

I've always had a hard time 'rewarding' myself. Whenever I got recognized for something public-professional, I would want to get it over with quickly, and just go back to my toil. 

Give me the plaque...Thank you for the cake...Now can we go? Kind of a 'put your nose down and work' mentality.  Modesty and humility at all times. 

Don't misinterpret: there's merit in that. I'm somebody who gets the job done. And yes, the introvert sometimes leads a life of 'quiet desperation. '

So I've identified that it's in my nature to love the struggle. Toiling is 'safe'. I still get very uncomfortable having someone be good to me or being good to myself. I'll sacrifice so someone else can get a shirt, or I'll skip the <fill in> for dinner if someone else can enjoy it, if we don't have enough to go around -that sort of behavior. It's something I want to change. 

(And yes, these sports clothes I bought for myself, and I'm not returning them. I'm going to enjoy wearing them doing what I love) #mindset #knowyourself #treat4me

Who's really derailing you?

Don't be this girl. Please. I got news of a very ugly nature this week, and this Jedi is gonna have to dig deep once again (Will I ever get a break?) . I sat for about 30 minutes today quietly then happened to be texting with a member of my fitness group Beat the Boss . I want to speak to all of you to remind you that stressors are going to continually come up. Life is going to keep throwing them at you. If one thing this program has taught me, it is to re-focus, to fall back on exercise and fueling up my body clean, so that I'm 'well prepared'. If you let every little crisis grab you, and you inhale half the fridge or miss your shake, or stop exercising because of it, then you're not really loving yourself, are you? You're getting in your own way. You're derailing YOU. Today I just embraced the fear instead of fighting it. I sat and took stock of all my groups, my kids, my team, my husband and I just keep saying to myself 'I am only moving forward.' Only YOU are stopping you