Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Why don't we deserve good?

I've always had a hard time 'rewarding' myself. Whenever I got recognized for something public-professional, I would want to get it over with quickly, and just go back to my toil. 

Give me the plaque...Thank you for the cake...Now can we go? Kind of a 'put your nose down and work' mentality.  Modesty and humility at all times. 

Don't misinterpret: there's merit in that. I'm somebody who gets the job done. And yes, the introvert sometimes leads a life of 'quiet desperation. '

So I've identified that it's in my nature to love the struggle. Toiling is 'safe'. I still get very uncomfortable having someone be good to me or being good to myself. I'll sacrifice so someone else can get a shirt, or I'll skip the <fill in> for dinner if someone else can enjoy it, if we don't have enough to go around -that sort of behavior. It's something I want to change. 

(And yes, these sports clothes I bought for myself, and I'm not returning them. I'm going to enjoy wearing them doing what I love) #mindset #knowyourself #treat4me


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